Saturday, January 2, 2010

A New Year

Ok, so I didn't handle the New Year holiday the best. In fact, I cried through most of New Year's Eve. Why did I have to read that damn article? A little girl, Elaine, passed away the day before her 3rd birthday with a similar heart defect to our baby's. And yes, Bob pointed out that that poor little thing had a number of complications we just don't know our baby will or will not have. But still, I couldn't stop thinking of her, and I couldn't stop thinking of her mom who was holding her hand as she passed.

Now that it's been a couple days and we've embarked on another house project, it's helped to keep my mind off of the bad part of what might happen. We're working on our kitchen at the moment; paint and tile for the back splash, thanks to a couple of Grammas at Christmas time! Chances are, this is our last opportunity to get a decent house project finished for a while.

As Bob makes another Home Depot run, I took the opportunity to sit on the couch for a quiet moment (Cate's napping in the basement to "Horton hears a Who") ...and my thoughts wondered back to little Elaine, and then to what a tough year 2009 has been for many of our family and friends. My StepDad lost his mom, Anne lost her mom, Marie lost her mom, Adrienne lost her Cillian, Kevin lost his dad, Nathan lost his dad and his mom (within hours of each other, and each from different causes), we lost a baby in the Spring and by Fall, we find out our next baby has serious problems. Screw the state of the economy, I'll remember 2009 as a year of loss ...real loss. But, while I ponder all this, I keep thinking to myself, 2010 has got to be different. We've paid our dues, so to speak. Maybe this really is our year to shine. Maybe, just maybe, our little girl will be born strong and tough and ready to kick ass all over this heart problem.

I wish I could keep thoughts like this rolling, without the bad popping into my head. Thankfully, I read another story of a heart baby today ...this time, a success story of a little boy, Ewan, who has exactly what our baby has. To hear that he's celebrating his 6th birthday ...that he's active, participating in all sorts of sports ...even soccer and skiing, that's the kind of thing gives me renewed hope. I hope we'll be reporting the same kind of story 6 yrs down the road.

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