Guess we're OK?!

We went back in yesterday for another Nonstress Test and they're not sure why she had such a dramatic deceleration. Her baseline heartrate is still at the low end of normal (115), but even the cardiologist wasn't concerned. As well, they measured our amniotic fluid and said that we're perfect. I asked the Tech who did that test if she wouldn't mind accompanying to the remainder of my appts -- she's about the only one to give me good news in a while.

So, I'm not sure if our OB has looked at the results, I don't know if we should expect a phone call, wait until our next appt to hear more, I just don't know. Thank God for Adrienne who said, "If they were that concerned, they would not have let you leave the hospital." I was able to breathe much easier after she said that.

Now that we're down to a less than 6wk countdown, I'm relishing every kick and every hiccup ...which she seems to be getting more often these days. I keep getting these flash images of her in the ICU, or hooked up to the heart/lung machine in surgery, and the panic sets in again. At times, it's easy to divert that train of thought, but not all the time. I'm also having a hard time imagining her birth, and not being able to hold her. I swear, I didn't want to let Cate go when I had her, I just can't fathom only getting a glimpse of this baby girl. I keep hoping that I'll see a nice chunky baby when she arrives (like her sister); at least that's one thing that would work in her favor. It goes without saying that I'm so glad I'll have Bob with me that 1st hour while they get her stabilized. But I'll also be glad to see him go with her over to Primary's; I don't want to think of her being setup in the PICU without one of us there with her. I hope I won't have to wait long before I can go over there and see her. I swear, they're gonna have to drag me away once I do!